Finding Equipoise

Baby News *Updated*

It's a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!  We are so excited!

*Updated to include a couple shots from the ultrasound

Face (left) and abdomen (right).  Her mouth is open and you can see her heart and stomach.

Head and abdomen shot again. 

19 weeks...

Well, I'm feeling pretty naive today.  I have never been pregnant before, obviously, and it seems that the doctor would like to think I have.  When we first went over the procedure for each appointment with our Doctor, it was mentioned that we would have our diagnostic ultrasound at 20 weeks.  Well, our appointment schedule was thrown off a bit because we had to go in a week early for our appointment last month because of the accident.  So, when we scheduled our 19 week appointment, we asked the receptionist if it mattered that we would be doing the diagnostic ultrasound a week early.  They said it should be fine. 

So, we get there today and our Doctor was at the hospital delivering a baby so the nurse had to do our appointment.  Come to find out, we have to schedule a separate appointment at the hospital to have the ultrasound done.  Now, I'm sure any of you who have been pregnant before knew that.  My mom so kindly explained after the fact that she could have told me that- not helpful.  It makes sense, and it was just a miscommunication...but I'm still frustrated and feel pretty stupid that I wasn't aware.  It could have been so easily avoided if my Doctor had taken 5 seconds to tell us.  Anyway, we are now scheduled for Friday.

Baby is now 15 cm long from crown to rump and weighs 8 ounces.  Baby's movements are starting to feel more like kicks than flutters and I love it.  Baby is busy developing reproductive organs.  It amazes me how much baby grows and develops each week.  I'll update on baby again after the ultrasound.

Week 18

It's hard to believe I'm almost halfway through this pregnancy.  Time has flown by.  I thought, because I found out so soon after conceiving, that the pregnancy would last forever.  This is not the case.  While we certainly planned on having a baby, I'm beginning to be alarmed at how soon the due date is coming.  We have very little right now as far as baby stuff is concerned.  I know that we'll probably get everything done in time, but I worry about it anyway.

Pregnancy has been relatively easy for me.  I am so grateful for that.  The hardest thing is that I am a 3 meals a day type person.  All these small meals/ snacks and being hungry all the time is very foreign to me and I sometimes worry I'm not eating enough.  My tummy has gotten big enough that people have started noticing it.  With that and the little nudges from baby, I'm really starting to feel like this is more real.  There is nothing to describe the feeling of that tiny person moving inside you.  It is strange and amazing and impossible to describe.  I laugh out loud many times a day because of this movement, especially when I have sugar or a little caffeine and the baby goes crazy.

Baby is now roughly 14 cm long and weigh seven ounces.  Baby is starting to hear sounds and is getting big enough that the movements I feel are more like tiny kicks than flutters.  It's exciting how much baby progresses every week.  One more week until we'll know whether baby is a boy or a girl!

Cheers...

to feeling the baby moving (I think) and finding out our car is totalled!  I'm so excited!  Yesterday was a good day.

A Day Late and a Pant Size Larger

I didn't have a single spare second yesterday for the pregnancy update so I am writing today.  The pant size thing is correct.  I have one pair of normal size pants I can still comfortably button.  The rest of them I am only able to wear by not buttoning them, or by using the rubber band trick.  It has been interesting.  I did get a few items of Maternity clothing for Christmas, which I have started to incorporate into my wardrobe.  I am constantly amazed at how much my body changes week to week.  The last 3 weeks, the changes have been dramatic.  I am now four months along and my little belly is almost to the point where people feel comfortable asking me if I'm pregnant.  Mostly I just make it a point to tell people that I am up front.  I can't stand the thought of them speculating in their head whether I am pregnant, or just over ate during the holidays.  hehehe  I don't have any "morning sickness" at all anymore...not that I had it bad to begin with.  Right now I'm in that stage where I know I'm pregnant, but there's not a ton of evidence other than my expanding belly.  I swear I have felt the baby move, like soft, twirling flutters...but it hasn't happened enough that I can tell for sure.  So I'm just waiting...I'll be so thrilled to finally feel the baby move.  I'm looking forward to my 19 week appointment, where we get to find out the baby's gender.  Let's all hope baby cooperates.

Baby is now 12 centimeters long head to bum, hee.  Which seemed like a lot to me until I measured it and imagined holding that tiny thing in my hands.  I am decidedly glad baby is still safe in my tummy.  According to ivillage, baby has started developing toenails and can suck it's thumb.  Also, if I was able to get a good peek, we'd be able to tell the gender.  How I wish I could peek right now!  I'm so impatient!

Update on the accident...still no word whether or not our car is totaled.  We did finally get a rental two days ago.  Love had a CT Scan to make sure his head was ok.  (The doctor thought he might have a mild concussion and wanted to check him out.)  The results came back normal, so we are grateful.  As for our other injuries, we are almost completely healed and feeling very blessed.  Thank you all for your concern for us, it truly means a lot!

12 Weeks

Ok, I know I'm a big FAT liar because I didn't post again this last week.  My excuse?  I was busy trying to finish Christmas cards, go to 3 family events, clean my house and prepare for my trip to NM in 3 days, and try not to go crazy.  I hope you'll forgive me for writing about nothing but baby until the holidays are over!

Anyway, yay!  I am officially out of my first trimester!  Everybody take in a big breath and let it out in a big sigh of relief with me.  To have reached this milestone gives me a tiny hint that everything just might turn out fine with this little one.  Baby is now about 2.5 inches long and weighs about 14 grams.  Baby's digestive system is now working and fingernails are beginning to grow.  Baby is also starting to develop little tooth buds, how exciting! 

We had our appointment this morning and got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler- 160 bpm, just as it should be.  Although, we all had a good laugh while New Doctor chased a very active baby around my abdomen to get the heartbeat.  Baby and I are healthy and things are looking great!

I can now feel the top of my uterus, which is interesting.  I am feeling more like myself.  I never really got very sick, but I was very tired.  I am starting to get some of my energy back, which has been really nice.  I'm looking forward to the so called "breeze" of the second trimester.

That's all for now.  I'm leaving in 3 days to go home, I'll try to write while I'm there but no promises, so if I don't talk to you, Merry Christmas!

11 Weeks

I've decided that every Wednesday I will be posting an update on how things are progressing with baby and me.  I understand, and I'm sorry that I didn't say it sooner, if any of you can no longer read my blog since I became pregnant.  I understand that pain and I feel so sick for how you must be feeling reading this because I remember feeling sick reading about other people's pregnancies too.  I wish you all the best in your journey to pregnancy and will understand completely if you cannot visit this space.

Today the baby is 11 weeks old exactly.  Baby is about 1.75 to 2.4 inches crown-to-rump and weighs about 0.3 ounce (8g).  The baby is about the size of a lime.  Baby is now officially a fetus (no longer and embryo).  This week Baby's neck develops and lengthens, causing the chin to rise from the chest.  Fingernails will appear.  External signs of the baby's sex will start to form this week and baby is really growing fast.

I am doing pretty well.  Nauseous pretty often, but not too bad.  I haven't been really sick, which is very fortunate.  I've learned to eat when I'm hungry or there are severe consequences.  I've also found that if I go to bed too late or don't get enough sleep, I pay for it the next day.  My boobs are throbbing and growing and I'm starting to get a noticeable little tummy.  I am not one of those women who get perfect skin and hair during pregnancy...in fact I think mine is worse.  I am growing fingernails like crazy, which is strange.  I am starting to cry for no particular reason, or with very little provocation.  For instance, I am really moved by music.  The other night an orchestra was playing a medley of soundtracks from different movies and it was so moving and beautiful I started bawling.  I cannot make it through church without crying several times.  I cannot watch touching commercials or think about sentimental things.  Let me just tell you, I am not even close to this emotional normally.  Things are progressing well.  I will be out of my first trimester soon- at which point I will breathe a large sigh of relief.  My next appointment is in a week.

I still worry that something will happen.  I will feel better once I get to hear the heartbeat again.  I think the baby moving will be a big step in making me further believe this is really happening.  I try to stay calm and not stress...but that little worry bud is always there nagging.

I promise I will try to be better about posting.  I don't want this space to be absorbed by this pregnancy, though I'll admit that the baby enters my thoughts more than most things these days.  More about baby (and appointment) next week.

So quiet...

yet so busy.  I know I have been a major slacker at posting lately, and for that I apologize.  This pregnancy thing has completely thrown me for a loop.  I am so happy to be pregnant, but you don't realize how much pregnancy changes every aspect of your life until it happens to you.  I am exhausted no matter how much sleep I get.  If I don't get enough sleep, I am so sick the next day.  I have visited the ladies room more in the last few weeks than probably all of high school.  I have never been so hungry.

On the other hand, I haven't been very sick at all.  Just a few really nauseous days every so often.  I was struck by extreme laziness for a while, to the point that my house fell apart- except for all the times that Love cleaned up for me.  Now, I have gotten some of my energy back and am feeling pretty good.  I've gotten used to having a snack between breakfast and lunch.  (Which was really hard for me since I just don't eat that much.)  I am just so happy to have been blessed with this wonderful gift.

Baby is just a bit bigger than an inch right now.  I am 9 weeks 5 days today.  I am starting to get a little tummy.  I already had to stop wearing a couple pairs of pants.  That makes me laugh a little.  Work is hard.  It's been very stressful and it's difficult to take time out- much needed time- for myself and the baby.  I have learned that I have to take a break.  I have to drink lots of water and eat on time.  As things work out and I learn my limitations, life is settling down. 

I do worry.  After trying for so long, I feel a bit jaded.  I sometimes feel like this can't be happening or that something will go wrong at any given moment.  Every little thing freaks me out and I swear I've called my nurse so much we are on a first name basis.  I try to keep the worry to a minimum, afraid of the stress it will cause.  I was thrilled to hear the heartbeat and see that there was a healthy little bean baby in there at my ultrasound.  Something about the heartbeat made me relax.  My baby is alive and well, last I checked.  So, I will take that and run for a bit.

I really appreciate the comments I received.  Every time I tell people I'm pregnant it makes it more and more real.  The excitement from others is contagious and when I feel how happy they are for me, it makes me worry just a little less.  So, thank you to all of you that are happy with me!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

This year I have so much to be grateful for!  I can hardly imagine putting in to words all the blessings I have been given this year.  There are a few things I am especially grateful for though, I'd like to list them here:

* First, I am so lucky to have a husband like Love.  He amazes me daily.  His everlasting love for me is shown in all the little things he does for me.  I must have had a moment of genius when I decided that he was the one for me.  I am so grateful for you my Love!

* I'm grateful for my family.  Both the one I was raised in and the one I was married into.  I love you all dearly and am constantly amazed by the love and support I receive from you.  I can't imagine my life without all of you in it.

* I have some completely amazing friends.  I have been through  a lot this year and I don't know how I would have gotten through it with out all of you.  I am blessed to have so many dear friends that I dare not try to list them, but you all know who you are.  Thank you for being the family I chose.

* I am so happy to have a roof over my head, food to eat, jobs for Love and I so we can support ourselves, and all the happiness I enjoy.

* I am grateful for my religion.  For the opportunity I had to be married to my Love for Time and All Eternity!  I'm thankful for all I've learned and for the hope and perspective it brings to me daily.

* This year, though, I am most grateful to have finally been blessed with the one thing that has eluded me for nearly two years.  I am so happy to announce to all of you this day, that Love and I are PREGNANT!  I am 8 weeks along right now, I hope I don't regret telling you so early, and this little bean is due on July 4th, 2008.  This baby came completely naturally, two weeks before we were to start taking Clom!d.  I can't tell you what a miracle this is to us.  I know you all know how much and how long we've been wanting this and we are beyond excited.  Yesterday was our first appointment and I got to see and hear the heartbeat of our little bean.  It just made it all feel so real.  This year we are truly blessed. 

My love and care to all of you on this day.  Happy Thanksgiving!