to feeling the baby moving (I think) and finding out our car is totalled! I'm so excited! Yesterday was a good day.
That's what people keep telling me. "Oh, now you're a quarter of a century old!." So, of course I expected it to be a major milestone in my life. Now that the day is here, there is not anything unusual about it. Today is my birthday. So far, it's been pretty uneventful, which is fine with me. I'm just happy looking back over the year I've had. So many things have happened, happy, sad, amazing, difficult and miraculous. One could only hope that next year is as good.
This year I have so much to be grateful for! I can hardly imagine putting in to words all the blessings I have been given this year. There are a few things I am especially grateful for though, I'd like to list them here:
* First, I am so lucky to have a husband like Love. He amazes me daily. His everlasting love for me is shown in all the little things he does for me. I must have had a moment of genius when I decided that he was the one for me. I am so grateful for you my Love!
* I'm grateful for my family. Both the one I was raised in and the one I was married into. I love you all dearly and am constantly amazed by the love and support I receive from you. I can't imagine my life without all of you in it.
* I have some completely amazing friends. I have been through a lot this year and I don't know how I would have gotten through it with out all of you. I am blessed to have so many dear friends that I dare not try to list them, but you all know who you are. Thank you for being the family I chose.
* I am so happy to have a roof over my head, food to eat, jobs for Love and I so we can support ourselves, and all the happiness I enjoy.
* I am grateful for my religion. For the opportunity I had to be married to my Love for Time and All Eternity! I'm thankful for all I've learned and for the hope and perspective it brings to me daily.
* This year, though, I am most grateful to have finally been blessed with the one thing that has eluded me for nearly two years. I am so happy to announce to all of you this day, that Love and I are PREGNANT! I am 8 weeks along right now, I hope I don't regret telling you so early, and this little bean is due on July 4th, 2008. This baby came completely naturally, two weeks before we were to start taking Clom!d. I can't tell you what a miracle this is to us. I know you all know how much and how long we've been wanting this and we are beyond excited. Yesterday was our first appointment and I got to see and hear the heartbeat of our little bean. It just made it all feel so real. This year we are truly blessed.
My love and care to all of you on this day. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am overwhelmed. There are lots of wonderful good things going on in my life- lots of good things to come. But there are also lots of not so good things happening that are causing me stress. Today, I am going to focus on mostly the not so good things...mainly because the good things haven't really happened yet- at least not enough that I can talk about them.
In the last post- that I wrote what? a year ago?- I briefly mentioned how crazy busy I had been with my job responsibilities at work. I accepted these responsibilities willingly. I did this thinking I would be happier this way, that it would be something I'd really enjoy. I chose to make this change because I thought perhaps this was the answer to how much I really hated my current job responsibilities. The first couple of days it was fine. I was happy. I was excited even. The first couple days, I had help. Once I decided I was trained enough, I took over. Me. ALL.BY.MYSELF. To say I was in over my head would be an understatement. Immediately, I knew I had waded into the deep end before I truly knew how to swim.
A few weeks later and I have gotten things under control. I'm still not used to being so busy I forget to eat lunch, pee, or drink water. (Don't worry, I have started to get those under control too.) I haven't been that busy in quite a long time. There was a time in my life where I thrived on being this busy. Call me old. Call me tired. Call me lazy. But if this doesn't slow down a bit very soon, I might go out of my mind. Not to mention the effects it has had on my reading your blogs and writing in mine. And, yes, I know that I probably shouldn't be spending company time doing these things, but that's what I did and now that has changed.
SO, I will make it a goal to write at least once a week. If I get to write more, great! If not, I hope you'll forgive me.
My point in telling you all this is what I've learned from the past few weeks. I have discovered that I can do much more than I thought I could. I have discovered that it's possible to go home and feel like you really accomplished something that day and to feel so tired after work that you just want to go home and go to bed. (Not sure that I needed to learn those two.) I have also learned that when life overwhelms you, it's best to take things one step at a time. If you try to accomplish everything in your path all at once, it will chew you up and swallow you whole. By taking things one step at a time, you cannot always get ahead of the obstacles in front of you, but you can tackle them one at a time you are able to get past them and move on to the next. While I fear this metaphor has gotten away from itself, allow me to continue a little further. I have realized that the weight of your stress depends on whether you allow it to crush you like a boulder all at once, or whether you chisel it away, a little at a time, until you work your way through. That is what I'm trying to accomplish right now. So far, it seems to be working.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
In a renewed effort to find that "state of balance" we're all searching for, I finally decided to make a sacrifice and drive through rush hour traffic three times a week to work out with my friend. It began last night and, though it was frustrating to sit through almost an hour of traffic, it felt so good to get my muscles moving again. I only did a thirty minute brisk walk, but I felt ten times better afterward. I woke up aware of my muscles this morning. I love that sensation because it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. My goal is to try and walk at least 30 minutes a day, six days a week. The nice thing about having a workout buddy, though, is that if I don't make my goal, I'll at least be moving three times a week. In the end, all that matters is that I'm trying and I'm doing more than I was. There is always room for improvement, but I've learned that, sometimes, it's the doing that matters. Save the improvement for when the doing gets routine.
Also, I have been teaching flute lessons to my niece, which is far more fulfilling than I could have imagined. I used to teach way back when I lived in New Mexico, but getting married and moving 5 times kind of put a damper on that. Imagine my excitement when my niece told me she wanted to play the flute! Teaching has caused me to remember my deep love for music, especially making music. On Sunday, I got ready for church early and spent about half an hour playing the piano. The joy that music brings me is nearly indescribable- which causes me to wonder why I don't allow myself the time to play more often. I'm working on that.
Is there something you love that has been put on the back burner of your life? Something that you wish you had time for? Will you tell me about it?
Ok, so do you remember the Mandy Moore from back in the day? She was the teen pop princess who brought us such songs as "Candy". She is no longer that Mandy. Growing up I'll admit I did like her music. I still have several of her cd's. Yet, as I got older, I just didn't have a taste for her music anymore. I grew out of it. Fortunately, so did she. Recently she put out a new album entitled "Wild Hope". I fell in love with this album from the start. It's just my kind of music. I also gained a whole new respect for her.
Tonight I went to see her live in a little place called the Avalon Theatre. It was an intimate setting, a relatively small venue. We stood up at the front no more than 15 feet away. I had a blast. Mandy put on an amazing performance. She blew my away with her voice but also with her humility and her gratitude for the support of an album she's very proud of. Here are a few pictures: